Never Look Back
by Ali-Chan1
Summary: 5yearsago Summer found out she was pregnant and left Newport before Seth could return home from his sailing trip. Summer's run away from her past without looking back, but no matter how far or hard you run, your past always catches up to you. complete
1. Prologue

Prologue  
  
"Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit," Summer picks up the closest thing to her, a ceramic toothpaste holder, and slams it against the wall in front of her. Feeling slightly relieved by the burst of anger Summer throws more of the breakable things in her bathroom against the wall, until she feels completely drained of anger and sinks to the floor sobbing.  
  
Rosemary, the housekeeper that had worked for her family since Summer was a baby hurries into the room, glances around at the damage and quickly hurries back out undoubtedly to get Summer's father. Summer should care, she should be quickly hiding all evidence and making up a lie before he can get here. But she doesn't care, let him find out.  
  
"Summer, what's going on?" Neil Robert's appears, as predicted staring at his daughter. Venturing further into the glass covered bathroom Neil approaches his daughter and crouching down he stares at her. "What happened sweetie, did they find your boyfriend? Has something happened to him?"  
  
Summer shakes her head as a response.  
  
"Then wha-" Neil stops as he glances around the room and his gaze settles on the pregnancy test on the counter. "Oh God, Summer."  
  
"Daddy," when Summer looks up at her father she has a broken look that Neil Roberts has never seen in his daughter.  
  
"We'll figure this out," Neil assures before wrapping his daughter in a hug.

* * *

"I think I know what I want to do." Summer announces as she walks into the living room where her father is watching television with her step-mother.  
  
"Really? What?" Neil had spent the last couple of days tossing ideas out to his daughter who was determined to have and raise her baby. He loved his daughter but didn't know if he was willing to bare the embarrassment of having a teenaged pregnant daughter.  
  
"I called Mom," Summer states, the statement alone sounds foreign on her lips. "I think I want to move in with her."  
  
"Your mother?" Neil is surprised by the statement, he hadn't spoken to his wife in nearly 10 years and he had no idea his daughter was in contact with her either. "I had no idea you even spoke to your mother."  
  
"Only once a year, she sends me a letter every year on my birthday and I've always had her phone number. I'd never used the phone number before today, but I called her and explained everything to her. I just needed a female perspective, she was the one who offered that I move to live with her."  
  
"I don't even know where she lives!" Neil exclaims.  
  
"Pennsylvania," Summer responds. "In Harrisburg."  
  
"You're going to move across the country?" Neil demands, standing up.  
  
"Daddy, we both know they are going to tear me apart if I stay here. Teenage girls don't have babies in Newport, ever."  
  
"I don't think moving in with your mother would be the best choice for you."  
  
"You said I could make this decision on my own, I'm making a decision. I want to move with Mom."  
  
Neil shakes his head and sighs, "if that's what you want, I'm not going to stop you, but I think you're making a mistake. What are you going to do about that boyfriend of yours?"  
  
"I'll leave him a letter telling him I've got, but I'm not telling him I'm pregnant." Summer states and she can't help but think 'take that Cohen, you're not the only one who can disappear with only a letter.'  
  
"Not going to..."  
  
"Neil, leave the girl alone. You promised her she could make her own decision about everything," for the first time in her life Summer's step-mother was sticking up for her. "If she doesn't want to tell Seth she's pregnant then she shouldn't have to tell Seth she's pregnant."

* * *

Summer stares at herself in the mirror, she didn't know why it was important to her what she wore to take the letter to the Cohen's house. Seth wasn't home and she didn't even have a guarantee that one of his parents would be either. But somehow it had taken her hours to pick out the denim capri's and simple white spaghetti strap top, a normal Summer outfit for her. She didn't understand why it was so important, it just was.

* * *

Ringing the doorbell at the Cohen's house Summer shifts uncomfortably back and forth, eyes focused on the welcome mat and letter clutched tightly in her hands. "Summer," Sandy is the one to open the door. "You did get my cell phone message."  
  
"Cell phone message?" Summer is startled by the greeting and can only muster up enough thought to parrot back Sandy's words.  
  
"You didn't get it?" When Summer shakes her head Sandy grins, "well good, I get to give you the news in person."  
  
"The news?"  
  
"Seth called," Sandy's smile grows, "he's on his way home. He'll be here in two or three days."  
  
"He's coming back," for a whole second Summer gets excited but in an instant her heart sinks. "I won't be here in two or three days."  
  
"Oh, are you going on vacation? Seth'll be disappointed but..."  
  
"Actually, no." Summer responds, "I explained it all to Seth in my letter, if you could just give it to him..."  
  
"Summer..."  
  
"I'm sorry Mr. Cohen," Summer's eyes fill with tears. "I have to go."

* * *

"I can't believe you're leaving Summer," Marissa looked terrible and Summer couldn't help but feel guilty for leaving her best friend behind when she was so torn apart. But Summer knew that if she stayed in Newport there would be no way she could help Marissa.  
  
"I know, this is just something I have to do, you know?"  
  
Marissa nods, "yeah I guess I do. My dad's thinking of moving to Arizona, he has some family that lives there, I might go too. Mom and I just can't make it work, you know living together and Caleb's willing to let me go. So when's your flight leave?"   
  
"First thing in the morning, we've got to leave the house by 5:30. I just hope I'll be okay to fly, I've been feeling kind of lousy lately."  
  
"You should see the doctor when you get to Harrisburg, you probably have the flu." Marissa states.  
  
"Yeah maybe," Summer felt bad about lying to her best and oldest friend. But the drinking that Marissa did at parties could lead to her inadvertently blabbing something she wouldn't under normal conditions and Summer couldn't risk that.  
  
"So what's your mom like anyway?" Marissa questions.  
  
Summer shrugs, "my best guess is she is somewhere between your mom and Kirsten, probably more like Kirsten, they did grow up together. I'm going to miss you Coop."  
  
"I'm gonna miss you too, Summer. I hope things are better for you in Pennsylvania. You find whatever it is you need." 


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter One  
  
"I need those shirts to be here on time," 23-year-old Summer demands into her cell phone, "no, there is no leeway in this. If you don't get me those summer clothes on time there's really no point in our store carrying your summer brands. We have plenty other companies...they will? Great. I'll give you a call when the shipment arrives."  
  
"I can't believe you pulled that off," Janine, Summer's assistant, stares in awe at her. "You rock."  
  
Summer grins back, "I know. Listen let Gloria know that the shipment will be here next Wednesday, no later, I'll guarantee it."  
  
"I'm going to be honest with you Summer," Janine confesses, "everyone has been saying that you only got this job because of your mother. That you're to inexperienced to be a buyer here..."  
  
"My mother did get me this job," Summer admits, "but because she knew I could do it, not because I'm her daughter."  
  
"Well either way, you really proved yourself today." Janine states.  
  
Summer smiles, "can you just let Gloria know? I've got a lunch meeting with a rep from Calvin Klein I've got to get to. And hold all of my calls, alright?" Grabbing her purse Summer walks around her desk and out of her office only to be met by Laurie Yearling, one of the people Janine had been talking about.  
  
"So how'd the call to Japan go?" Laurie's voice is dripping with sugary sweetness.  
  
Summer smirks in response, "great, our shipment will be here on time."  
  
"Congratulations," Laurie moves forward bumping into Summer and jarring the hand that is holding Summer's soda can spilling soda all over Summer's white blouse. "Oops sorry."  
  
"What's going on here," Gloria, the head of the buying department for Bloomingdales, takes this time to walk out of her office. "Summer, what's happened to your shirt?"  
  
"She's spilt soda all over it," Laurie smirks, "she can't go to the Calvin Klein meeting looking like that."  
  
"You're right, Laurie, why don't you go."  
  
"It's not a problem," Summer speaks up quickly. "I have a change of clothes in my office."  
  
"You shouldn't be late," Gloria insists.  
  
"I won't be," Summer assures.  
  
"Fabulous," Gloria gushes. "How'd your call go?"  
  
"I'll send Janine out to give you all the details, I've got to change and get to my meeting."  
  
"I can't believe you," Joseph, Summer's only friend in the department, bounds into her office just as she is zipping up the simple black dress she always kept in her office for emergencies.  
  
Summer quickly straightens herself in the mirror, "I can't really talk about it now Joseph."  
  
"I know, I know, listen I want to take you our for drinks after work to celebrate your success today." Joseph states.  
  
"I can't," Summer responds, "I'm taking off an hour early, I promised I'd pick Bryn up after school. It's her last day, I promised her today. She's having a bunch of her little friends over for the evening, and I've promised to take them to that new pizza place with the arcade in it."  
  
"Then who am I going to go out and have drinks with?" Joseph pouts.  
  
"I hear we have someone new in receiving, they say he's very cute, very single and very gay."  
  
"He sounds exactly my type." Joseph grins, "so we'll reschedule?"  
  
"Sure, Bryn's going up to Pennsylvania to stay with my mother for the next week anyway so we'll do it some night next week."  
  
"Or every night next week," Joseph corrects.  
  
"Maybe, I'll see you later." Summer calls over her shoulder before hurrying out of her office.

* * *

"Mom! Mom!" 5-year-old Bryn comes flying down the school steps and straight toward her mother, her dark pig-tailed hair flying behind her.  
  
"Hey sweetie, how was your last day of kindergarten?" Summer questions.  
  
"It was so much fun!" Bryn exclaims, "we had a party, but look I spilled juice on my new dress." She points to the dark stain on her white t-shirt and running over the red heart.  
  
"It's alright, we can take it home and put some stain fighter on it, how about that?" Summer suggests.  
  
"Will it go away?" Bryn questions.   
  
Summer nods, "it should."  
  
"What time are all my friends coming over?"  
  
"Five o'clock," Summer responds, "we'll set your princess alarm clock when we get home that way you know when they'll be there, okay?"  
  
Bryn smiles brightly, slipping her hand into Summer's, "okay." Taking in Summer's appearance the fashion conscious five-year-old comments, "you changed."  
  
"Yup," Summer nods, "someone ran into me at work."  
  
"Mom?" Bryn asks once they are the stop sign across the street from their New York apartment.  
  
"Yeah Bryn?" Summer asks, stopping her mental calculation of how she was going to shower, change, fix Bryn's shirt and get Bryn's room ready for 5 extra girls in only 45 minutes.  
  
"Can I get my ears pierced for a second time?" Bryn questions.  
  
"No." Summer states firmly.  
  
"Why not."  
  
"Because I said so, and I'm the mom." Summer responds simply.  
  
"Everybody has their ears second pierced!" Bryn whines.  
  
"Everyone does not have their ears pierce," Summer responds logically. "Shaina and to think of it none of the girls that are coming over have second holes in their ears."  
  
"I know, but everyone else in school does."  
  
"No," Summer responds. "Final decision."  
  
"Hello Bryn," the cheerful doorman, George, at their apartment greets. "How was your last day of school?"  
  
"Fine," Bryn sighs.  
  
"Only fine?" George asks.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Well there is a surprise upstairs waiting for you."  
  
"Really?" Bryn asks quickly. "What is it?"  
  
"I dunno George," Summer sighs, "I don't know if Bryn deserves her surprise. She's already getting to have five friends over and she's not grateful for what she has."  
  
Bryn turns her chocolate eyes on her mother, "you know what it is?"  
  
"Of course I do, I told George he could give it to you." Summer responds.  
  
"I love you Mommy," Bryn offers a sweet smile.  
  
"No more about this ear piercing thing, alright?" Summer asks.  
  
Bryn nods, "I promise."  
  
"Then let's go see what's upstairs." Summer smiles down at her daughter as she is dragged to their floor.   
  
"Hurry up, unlock it, unlock it." Bryn is jumping up and down at the anticipation of a surprise.  
  
"Go check your room," Summer suggests.  
  
"Okay," Bryn immediately takes off for her room at the back of the apartment and three seconds later a screech that can probably be heard four floors down reaches Summer's ears. "A kitten!" Three seconds later Bryn is in the living room with the tiny orange kitten George had given them. "Is he mine?" Bryn questions.  
  
"He's yours, but George wanted to name him."  
  
"What's his name?" Bryn asks.  
  
"Orange Julius."  
  
"Hmm," Bryn thinks for a minute, "do you think George would mind if I called him OJ?"  
  
"I doubt it."  
  
"Can I take her with me to Grandma's?" Bryn questions.  
  
"Yes, I checked with Grandma."  
  
"Thank you Mom!" Bryn launches herself into Summer's arms.  
  
"You like him then?"  
  
"I love him! But how come you gave him to me? You said I wasn't 'sponsible enough for a kitty."  
  
"Well I thought it over, and I think you could learn some responsibility, you have to take care of him though."  
  
"I will," Bryn promises, her eyes wide and innocent.  
  
"Good, now why don't you get changed while I take a quick shower?"  
  
"Okay," Bryn nods. "Does OJ get to sleep in my room?"  
  
"Most nights, but I think OJ would be more comfortable if he slept in the living room tonight, away from all of the girls."  
  
Bryn thinks and nods, "I think you're right too." 


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

"Seth, you realize you have your own apartment and it's only next door, right?" Marissa asks when she and Ryan walk into the New York apartment they had moved into a week before.

"Yeah," Seth nods from the couch, "and?"

"That when we're not here you could hang out there." Marissa adds.

"I could," Seth nods, "but I was waiting for you to get back from taking Timothy to the Nanna's so we can go out."

"Where did you have in mind?" Marissa questions, she had been unpacking for the last week and she was very near stir crazy.

"There's a bar close to her I thought we could check out," Seth suggests.

Marissa looks to Ryan, "what do you think?"

Ryan shrugs, "sounds cool. We're in New York City and it's the first time we're childless so, why not?"

"Alright, let's go." Seth jumps up, in five years he had lost none of his enthusiasm.

"Seth, some of us need showers." Ryan responds.

Seth sighs and rolls his eyes, "fine. I'll be in _my_ apartment waiting for you."

* * *

"Summer," Joseph leans against the bar facing Summer. "It's great that you're a good mother Summer, but sometimes you just have to lighten up. Have fun and let go. I'm going to find us both gorgeous guys for a fab summer fling."

"I don't need a gorgeous guy," Summer responds. "I'm perfectly fine without any guy, I've got Brynn, she's enough for me."

Joseph nudges Summer, "oh come on. Oh hey, check him out, gorgeous blonde at the other end of the bar."

At the mention of this Summer can't help but lean over the bar and look down it and at the sight of the blonde standing by himself Summer jumps back quickly taking a deep breath, "oh my God," she whispers.

"Are you okay Summer?" Joseph questions, "do you know him or something?"

"Um yeah," Summer takes a deep breath, seeing Ryan was the last thing she had expected to ever do in New York, and unless everything had changed where Ryan was Seth was bound to be nearby.

"So, please tell me he's gay," Joseph nearly begs.

Summer shakes her head, "I haven't seen him in five years but last I checked he was very straight, and knocking girls up."

"Damn," Joseph sighs.

"Yeah," Summer responds, barely paying attention as she takes long deep breaths to stop her shaking hands and try to figure out an excuse to leave the club before Ryan spotted her.

"Oh, there's other people with them now, a guy and a girl, maybe you know them too." Joseph comments.

Once again Summer quickly spins around, but this time her nerves have taken over and her elbow knocks the beer belonging to the person next to her all over the counter. "Hey, watch it!" It's a large man and his voice carries, drawing plenty of attention.

"Here, I'll buy you another beer," Summer speaks quickly hoping that the commotion hasn't drawn the attention of the Californian's a couple feet away.

Once Summer has taken care of buying the angry man another beer she can feel their eyes on her and glancing over she can tell that they've all recognized her and are shocked. They seem stuck in a stalemate to see who's going to be the first to move, and Summer makes the first move. She grabs her purse, quickly turns on her heal and walks out of the bar, informing Joseph, "I've got to get home."

"Um...okay..." Joseph trails.

"I'll call you," Summer calls as she quickly exits the bar.

"Summer!" Ryan's voice is the one that stops Summer, and when she turns around she's not surprised that he's the only one who came out of their shock enough to follow her.

"Ryan I have to go," Summer turns around quickly, but this time Ryan grabs her arm. Brushing him off she turns to face him, "Ryan, please, just let me go."

"This is where you've been," Marissa has suddenly appeared, "I tried to find you but your dad wouldn't say how to reach you."

As the words come out of her mouth Summer can't help but remind herself of her daughter and her daughter's father, "I was in Pennsylvania living with my mom. I uh went to Penn State and then my mom got me a job here so I moved here."

"You disappeared and you just left a letter," Seth states slowly.

"Well I guess there's something we had in common." Summer snaps, then taking a deep breath she attempts her exit, "I've got to go." With her words she walks toward the street.

"Summer, we haven't seen you in five years, you can't just say hi and then walk away." Marissa calls after her.

"Oh, right," Summer spins around. "It's great to see you all." Quickly before they can react she hails a taxi and slides into the seat before they can follow.

* * *

The phone ringing breaks Summer out of a deep sleep, and when she moves she realizes that she'd fallen asleep in her clothes from the night before. Rolling over on her bed she fumbles for the phone on her bedside table, "hello?"

"Mommy?" Brynn's voice is chipper.

Summer yawns, she hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, but then she smiles at the sound of her daughter's voice, "hi baby. How are you?"

"Good," Brynn states, "O.J. and I are having fun at Grandma's."

"Good, what are you doing today?" Summer questions.

"Grandpa Devin has to go to Spain for work today, but it's okay cause he'll be back before I leave. And today Grandma's taking me, and Uncle Bryant and Aunt Kyla and Aunt Deena to the water park for the whole day, so that's why I called you so early cause I wanted to talk to you before we went."

"Good, sounds like you're going to have fun."

"Uh-huh, and we even made a bed for O.J. so he can sleep while we are out having fun, cause Grandma says he's just like a baby and babies needs lots and lots of sleep."

"That's right," Summer nods just as the call waiting beeps in. "Sweetie, I've got someone on the other line and I don't want you to keep everyone waiting."

"Okay, I'll talk to you tonight, okay Mommy?" Brynn questions.

"Of course, before bedtime." Summer assures. "Hello?"

"I'm sorry to call so early Miss Roberts, but there's someone here asking about you." George, the doorman, is on the other line.

"Did they say who they were?" Summer asks quickly.

"No, they live in the building, he says he's an old friend."

Summer sighs, "I'm going to change and then I'll be down, alright?"

"Sure thing Miss Roberts."

Slowly Summer walks over to her dresser, wrenching open the drawer and muttering to herself, "they live in the building. Perfect, just perfect." Pulling out a pair of jeans and a tank top Summer quickly changes, before she leaves she pulls her back into a ponytail, not bothering with make-up. She wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible, a pair of flip flops completes her outfit and she leaves the apartment, not bothering to lock the door. She lived in the pent house of an apartment building with extremely tight security, no one could get to the apartment with out her approval and what she once thought as a quasi-bother she was now glad she had. It would have been worse for Seth to show up at her door then to have him call her downstairs.

"Ryan," Summer stops dead in her tracks, she'd expected Seth, not Ryan. "What are you doing here?"

"The voted me to come down and talk to you," Ryan responds.

"Figures," Summer mutters. "What do they want with me Ryan?"

"Want with you? " Ryan echoes the words back, puzzled by their meaning. "They're not out to kill you or something Summer, they just want to see you, talk to you. No one's heard from you since you left Newport."

"That was on purpose Chino," the nickname just seems to slip out.

"Can we talk? I'll buy you a cup of coffee," Ryan offers.

"What's there to talk about? I left everything in Newport behind for a reason and a little piece of my past just moved into my building. I get it, you guys live here," Summer snaps, "is there something else you need to talk about?"

"Then want to have lunch with you, tonight, think you can manage that?" Ryan seems slightly annoyed at Summer.

"I..." Summer's tough exterior falters.

"They've missed you Summer, Marissa's been your best friend your entire life, don't you kind of owe it to her to have dinner with her?"

"Ryan...did it ever occur to you that I left Newport for a reason?" Summer asks before thinking.

"Well, then what is the reason?"

Summer shakes her head immediately regretting her words and to take the focus off of them she states, "fine I'll have lunch with you guys. There's a diner just around the corner from here I'll meet you guys there at noon. I, have to go. I'll see you then."

"Couldn't we just meet here?"

Summer nods, "right. I'll meet you here at noon."


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"Well?" Marissa and Seth question simultaneously.

"She'll have lunch with us, she's meeting us in the lobby at noon." Ryan responds, "but I've got to warn you, she's far from happy about it."

"Well duh," Seth responds turning around in the bar chair. "Or did you miss out on the entire episode last night at the bar?" Seth sighs and then changes the subject, "what time are you picking Timothy up from The Nanna's?"

"We're going over for dinner," Ryan motions to the three of them.

"You mean you," Seth motions between Marissa and Ryan.

"Nope," Ryan shakes his head, "we're all going."

"I don't even know why you want to go over there." Seth responds, "all she does is give both of us trouble because we are both going to work for The Newport Group."

Ryan shrugs, "she's family. Besides Timothy really likes her so I don't want to get in the way of that."

Seth rolls his eyes, "I dunno, maybe it's just that I don't get the kid thing and maybe that's why I don't get the reason for you willingly giving up a free night."

"Seth, your grandmother's great." Marissa states.

"Well, she likes you." Seth responds, "and she only likes you because you're going into social services, which makes up for you not being Jewish. Anyway as much as I would love to talk about my The Nanna, I've got to shower."

"You mean you're going to your own apartment?" Ryan questions.

"Har, har, I see how much you guys want me around here. I'll be back at 11:45."

* * *

"Way different from where you used to eat at home Summer," Seth comments of the kind of low key, hole in the wall diner.

"I come here a lot," Summer responds. She hadn't said much else on the walk from the apartment to the dinner, but despite the fact that she's nervous on the inside she's still able to keep her calm and cool exterior.

"Summer," Brynn and Summer both loved the diner and frequented it often so it was no surprise when the waitress, Wendy, greeted her warmly. "You're without Brynn this afternoon."

Summer bites the inside of her lip quickly, already Brynn was brought up, but quickly she responds with a smile and nod, "yeah she's up visiting her grandmother for the week."

Wendy nods, "she said something about that the last time you guys were in here, she seemed excited."

Summer nods, "she was, she hasn't seen her grandmother since moving here."

"Good. So who are your friends?" Wendy questions.

"They're old friends from California who just moved into the city," Summer responds, desperately hoping the friendly red-head will just take their drink orders without bringing up Brynn again.

"Well, welcome." Wendy smiles, "what can I get you guys to drink?"

"So, um, what are you guys doing in New York?" Summer asks once they have been brought their drinks and ordered their food.

Seth, who's said very little other than his comment about the diner lets Ryan explain, "I'm going into an architecture program at NYU and Seth's going to law school there. We both have positions at Newport Group waiting for us when we get back, Kirsten's taken over for Caleb."

Summer nods, "good for you guys. What about you Marissa, just along for the ride?"

Marissa shakes her head, "Ryan and I got married last May, we tried to get in contact with you but we had no way of knowing how, since your Dad moved."

"There you!" Joseph announces loudly as he enters the diner.

"Joseph, what are you doing here? " Summer asks.

"I stopped by your apartment, George pointed me in this direction." Joseph responds stopping at the table. "I wanted to make sure you were alright, you took off like a bat out of hell last night and then you didn't answer your phones."

"Sorry," Summer offers an apologetic smile to her friend. "I left the cell at home."

Joseph glares at her, "the point of having a cell phone is to carry it with you."

"My brains been a little fried," Summer responds.

"Well what's going on?" Suddenly it's as if Joseph is noticing the other people at the table. "The people from the bar last night, interesting. Are you going to introduce us?"

"Okay," Summer draws out slowly. "Joseph these are friends of mine from California, Marissa, Ryan and Seth, everyone this is Joseph."

Joseph's eyes quickly settle on Seth and then return back to Summer, he knew almost everything about her and her past was part of that. He knew he Seth was but Summer knew he was trying not to make it obvious, "well it's nice meeting all of you. I've got to run, call me later babe." Joseph kisses Summer quickly before leaving the diner.

"Is that your boyfriend?" Seth asks once Joseph has gone.

Summer nearly chokes on her diet soda, "you're kidding right? Joseph? Joseph is not interested in woman that way."

* * *

In the safety of her apartment Summer let's her wall fall and she sinks onto her couch in tears, pulling her knees to her chest she gives into the sobs. When Brynn was born Summer had been feeling so sorry for herself, she missed California, she missed her friends, she missed that life but mostly she missed Seth Cohen. But then Brynn was born and suddenly Summer got some perspective on her life, suddenly the world wasn't only about Summer Roberts. Brynn reminded her so much of Seth from the start but that was the only reminder Summer would allow herself, she threw herself into raising her daughter and finishing high school and college that she refused to let herself dwell on her feelings for Brynn's father.

But now here he was suddenly, living in her apartment building, making it impossible for her to avoid him. She had to find a way to tell Seth that he was going to be a father, and she had to figure out a way to do it in the week before Brynn came home from Pennsylvania. Just as these thoughts settle around her Summer's phone rings, clearing her throat and hoping it's not to obvious she's been crying she answers the phone.

"I knew you would be home by now, and I knew you wouldn't call." Joseph's on the other line.

"I meant to," Summer sighs.

"I know, you must've been thrown for a loop last night. You didn't know they were moving here?"

"Not a clue."

"You've been crying," Joseph observes.

"Yeah," Summer doesn't both lying.

"Want me to come over? I'll bring ice cream?" Joseph offers.

"I'd like that, but more than ice cream I need to clear my head. I need to figure out how I am going to tell Seth that he has a five-year-old daughter he's never heard of, and probably never would have heard of if he hadn't moved into my apartment building."

"Well, it's not going to be easy." Joseph promises, "but maybe this is just fates way of telling you that he's been kept in the dark long enough."

"Fate," Summer whispers, she'd believed in fate, destiny and soul mates once but the person who had believed that was long gone. "I think I'm going to go to the gym, I need to clear my head."

"Call me if you need anything?"

"Of course."

* * *

"Hey," Marissa is in the lobby when Summer goes down, changed into her work out clothes for the gym in the apartment building.

"Hey," Summer returns the greeting. "Are you going to the gym?"

Marissa shakes her head, "no, I've got some stuff I have to mail home. Letters and stuff."

Summer nods, "well I'm off to the gym, I'll see you."

"Summer?" Marissa's questioning tone stops Summer.

"Yeah Marissa," Summer sighs she can tell what questions is coming next.

"Are you okay?"

And there it was and the lie to go with it was easy, "sure. I'm fine, just surprised to see you guys is all. Most people don't really expect their ex-boyfriend to show up in their apartment building in New York City of all people. No one ever said surprises were a bad thing," Summer responds but can't help mentally think, no one ever said they were a good thing either.

"You just seem kind of...I dunno, un-Summerlike," Marissa states.

Summer shrugs, "people change. I haven't seen you in five years, since were in high school, people change a lot in that time. But it doesn't look like any of you have changed. You and Ryan ended up together, that's good, I'm happy for you."

"Seth's single," Marissa supplies.

Summer shakes her head, "that's great but Seth Cohen and I are ancient history. We have nothing in common." Well, that was a lie too, a daughter some something they definitely had in common, but she had to lie until she figured out exactly what she was going to do. "I want to get to the gym, so I'll see you around okay Coop?"

Marissa nods, "sure, I'll see you around."


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

"I'd love to see your apartment Summer," Marissa states.

Summer had gone downstairs to get her mail the next day and Marissa seemed to have the same idea, Summer shakes her head, "I dunno, that's probably not a good idea. It's a mess, how about when the cleaning lady comes next week?"

Marissa nods, "sure, if that's what you want. I should go, I promised Tyler I would make pancakes with him."

Summer nods and once Marissa is gone she sighs, what she wanted was them to go away to move back to California or to at least leave the apartment building. But that wasn't going to happen, a realization that Summer had made nearing four o'clock yesterday morning along with the realization that the sooner she told Seth the easier it would be. What a crock, the easier it would be, it was going to be hard no matter how quickly she told Seth, and she could already see the expression his face. Betrayal would be written there and then anger and Summer didn't know if she could handle seeing it there.

'Just suck it up Roberts,' Summer mentally berates herself, 'go up to his apartment, invite him to dinner and then you can tell him.' Taking a deep breath Summer does exactly that.

When Seth doesn't answer Summer moves to the next apartment down, and knocks on the door. Seth is the one to answer the door and he looks shocked, "Summer, what are you doing here?"

"I knocked next door, there was no one there so I thought I could leave a message with Marissa and Ryan..." Summer responds.

"Oh," Seth nods, "well then I guess you could just give me the message. Come in."

"Could you just come out here?" Summer asks.

Seth shrugs, "sure." Once he's closed the door behind him he asks, "what's up Summer?"

"There's some things we need to talk about," Summer states. "So I thought maybe we could have dinner tonight?"

Seth nods, "sure. Where?"

"There's a nice Italian place close to here," Summer responds, "I'll meet you in the lobby at seven."

Seth nods, "great, I'll see you then. Do you want to come in? You can meet the infamous Timothy."

Summer shakes her head, "I can't, I have things to do to get ready for work on Monday."

"Sure," Seth nods and Summer can tell he's a little bit puzzled by all of this. "I'll see you at seven."

"Okay, good, I'll see you."

* * *

"Could you be freaking out anymore?" Joseph sits in Summer's bedroom as she very nearly tears apart her walk in closet looking for something to wear to dinner with Seth.

"Probably," Summer sighs. "I don't know if I can do this tonight, it's going to kill him to know that he's had a daughter for the last five years and I never told him. He's never going to be able to forgive me."

"You don't know that..."

"I do know that," Summer responds. "He skipped town when Ryan moved back to Chino..."

"And that's got to go with you how?"

"Betrayl...he felt that Ryan betrayed him and I _did _betray him."

"Maybe he'll understand."

"Joseph you don't understand, I _know_ him, he's going to hate me."

"Then I'm going to give you the best advice I can in this situation," Joseph states solemnly. "Tell him and get it over with, if he's going to hate you then just do it."

Summer throws a blouse at Joseph, "thanks."

Joseph catches the shirt, "don't wear this tonight." Getting back on topic he states, "if he's going to get mad either way then just get it over with and stop worrying about it."

"I can't stop worrying about it," Summer sighs.

Joseph gets up off of Summer's bed, and wrapping his arm around her shoulder he leads her to the bathroom, "you take a nice soothing bath. I'll find you something to wear."

Summer nods, "okay, okay..."

* * *

"Do you feel better?" Joseph asks when Summer walks out of her bathroom wrapped in her terry cloth robe.

Summer nods, "I'm a little calmer."

"Good, now I had Janine run to the store and pick you up a dress," Joseph states gesturing to the bag hanging on her door.

"Joseph, I don't need a new dress," Summer responds and then can't help but think about how five years ago she would have insisted on buying a new dress.

"Well this is a birthday present from me," Joseph returns.

"My birthday was last month," Summer responds.

"Well then don't expect anything next year," Joseph states before kissing her. "Listen when Janine came over she said she found me a date tonight, mind if I run? You only have half an hour until you have to meet him anyway."

"It's fine, go on, I'll call you tonight." Summer urges. Once Joseph is gone Summer takes out the dress Janine had picked out for him, it was a red dress that knew had just come in and cost a fortune. And when she pulled it on it was clingy, low-cut and sexy, something Summer definitely wasn't used to wearing.

* * *

"Summer, you look..." Seth stops, unable to find the words to complete the sentence as he stares at her.

"Thanks," Summer offers a brief smile, they had barely said more then a couple of words to each other on the ride to the Italian restaurant Summer had chosen.

"So what did you need to talk about?" Seth asks as the waiter sets down a basket of bread.

"Why don't we wait until we order?" Summer suggests.

"Okay," Seth returns and she can feel him bouncing his knee nervously under the table. The time in between then and ordering went a lot like that, Seth's knee bouncing and Summer breaking tiny pieces of bread of the bread stick and slowly eating them.

"Okay," Seth breaths deeply once the waiter has left after taking their order. "What's going on?"

Nervously Summer fidgets with her bracelet, "in Newport I just left..."

"You left a letter," Seth states. "A letter that read something like so, um the opportunity presented itself and I'm moving in with my mom. That was the extent of your letter."

"It's not like yours was any better, Seth," Summer snaps in self-defense. "So, Summer, I really care about you but I just can't handle it here so I'm going to Tahiti."

"It doesn't even compare Summer," Seth begins his defense. "First of all, I told you where I was going. You understood the circumstances around my leaving. And most importantly I came back. You disappeared for _five_ years, five years Summer."

"I had reasons Cohen!" Summer exclaims, but once she realizes that a part of the restaurant is watching her she lowers her voice. "I didn't just pick up and leave Seth."

"Is that why you asked me to come here?" Seth asks, "to tell me why you left Newport five years ago? Because, Summer, I don't know that I care."

"You'll care," Summer sighs. "Trust me, you'll care."

"How can I trust you? You left."

"So did you. You left first, how could I have trusted you?" Summer hisses and both of them fall silent. "Forget it, I'm going this tonight. And you're paying for the dinner we aren't eating." With her words, and on the verge of tears Summer hurries out of the restaurant.

Just as she's hailing her taxi her cell phone rings, glancing at the caller ID and seeing that it's her mother's number Summer takes a deep breath, trying to sound as normal as possible so Brynn doesn't suspect that anything is wrong. "Hi sweetie."

Seth, who had quickly thrown down several twenties hurries out of the restaurant after Summer, feeling bad for upsetting her when she obviously had something to tell him. But he keeps his distance when he realizes she is talking on a cell phone.

"What? Mom. Mom slow down, I can't understand. Mom, please stop, you're...you're scaring me..." Summer sounds on the verge of a breakdown, "Mom, what happened to Brynn? Okay, put Devin on." Summer takes a shaky breath as the phone must be in the process of being passed. "Devin, please tell me what's going on. Oh my God. Is she...oh God...I'll be there as soon as I can...okay, bye..." Summer flips the cell phone shut before covering her face with her hands, "oh my God."

Seth comes up behind Summer, "what's wrong?"

"Cohen," Summer jumps and then does something unexpected, throwing her arms around Seth's neck she sobs.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Sorry it took so long to update..things have been crazy my move across the country is 8 days an counting and I've actually been doing some prepatory packing that's not the night before hand, yay for me! Anyway, thank so much for all the reviews they mean so much and they are what keeps me updating, whenever I get a review I feel inspired to write...so hopefully if the reviews come fast enough I'll get this done by the day I leave so I don't have to wait until my computer is set up in the house I'm moving into...Anyway here's the chapter you've all been reviewing for...

Seth remains with his arms wrapped around Summer for a long time, but eventually he pulls away and stares at her, "what's wrong? What's happened?"

Swallowing hard Summer responds, "my daughter..."

Seth cuts her off, "you have a daughter?"

Summer nods, she can't tell Seth about Brynn now, all she can think about it getting to Pennsylvania, "my daughter, Brynn, was hit by a car. She's in a hospital in Pennsylvania, I have to go there." Summer breaks down again at the thought of her baby in the hospital, "I don't know what to do. I have to think..." Summer's hands ball into tight fists, "I have to think."

"It's okay." Seth hugs Summer tightly and quickly he pulls away, "I'll take care of everything for you, okay?" Summer nods, her brain doesn't even think to protest as she lets Seth lead her to a taxi that has just pulled up in front of them.

* * *

"Hey," Ryan walks into Seth's apartment, he'd heard Seth come in minutes before. "That was a fast dinner, what's going on?"

"I'm going to Pennsylvania." Seth states as he quickly throws some clothes into a duffel bag.

"Seth, what's going on?" Ryan asks.

"Listen, could you ask Marissa to go to Pent House 3 and help Summer get some things together, she's a mess." Seth questions.

"Sure, but what's going on?"

"Just do it, I'll explain afterwards." Seth urges.

Ryan nods sensing the urgency in Seth's voice and he goes off to do what he'd asked and when he comes back Seth is just hanging up the phone, "okay we have a flight leaving as soon as we can get to the airport."

"Seth, what's going on?" Ryan questions, again.

With all the tasks he needed to complete done Seth takes the opportunity to sit down on the couch and Ryan follows suit, "apparently Summer has a daughter."

"You're kidding."

Seth shakes his head, "I don't know anything other than her name is Brynn and she's been hit by a car. I guess she's visiting Summer's mother in Pennsylvania. She completely fell apart, so I told her I'd take care of everything. There's a friend of the family here who has their own plane, we're taking that."

"Do you want us to come with you?" Ryan asks.

Seth shakes his head, "nah, you guys have stuff to take care of here. Besides, I'll probably just fly up with her and then fly back down sometime tomorrow when she's in her mom's hands, you know?"

* * *

Sitting on the plane Seth's knee bounces from nervous energy that is practically radiating off of Summer, while she remains completely still with her head against the headrest and her eyes closed Seth can feel how nervous she is. "Are you okay?" Seth asks carefully.

'Alright, yeah I'm just dandy, my daughter was hit by a car but...' Inwardly Summer sighs, she had to stop thinking about it, at least until she got to the hospital. Obsessing about it on the way there wasn't going to help her at all. 'Just tell him, you have to tell him before you get there, Mom and Devin and everyone are going to act weird...just tell him now. And if something happens...oh God if something happens' the thought brings tears to Summer's eyes and Seth watches as a tear slips from the corner of her eye and down her cheek. More firmly in her mind she thinks, 'if something happens he's definitely going to have to know. Besides, he'd figure it out at the hospital, her last name's Cohen.'

"Summer?" Seth asks gently, she must've been quiet after his question for longer than he could stand.

"I have to tell you something," Summer's voice shakes as she speaks.

"Is it about whatever you were going to say at dinner? Because I'm sure it can wait," Seth states slowly.

"It can't," Summer assures, "you have to know now."

Seth nods, "okay, what is it?"

"She's your daughter," the words come out a lot calmer than Summer would have expected them to.

"Ex-excuse me?" Seth stutters.

"She's five-years-old, she was born seven months after I left Newport." Summer's words come out sound more like a text book than anything else. "She's got brown hair that, when it's really humid, it gets so curly that if she had short it would look just like yours. She's got the curve of your lips and the slight slant of your eyes, and she has the ability to make you laugh even when you don't want to, but you can't help but do it because she's just to adorable...And she rambles and she babbles just like you do and everything about her is yours...except it's not, because she's_ mine_, she's all I have in the entire world and I'm might lose her."

"Summ..."

"Please, don't say anymore...anything you say would just be you babbling out of nervousness or confusion and right now I don't know if I can take that."

* * *

"Summer!" Julius is waving at them from the street when Summer, and a still very stunned, Seth emerge from the airport.

"Oh my God, Jules," Summer launches herself at her younger step-brother, she'd gotten close to Devin and his kids, and they were more like family and she rarely considered them "step".

"It's not as bad as your mother made it sound on the phone," Julius assures her immediately. "It's just that she saw it all happen and..."

"Jules, please tell me what's wrong." Summer begs.

Jules nods before motioning to the car, barely taking notice of Seth, "she and Deena were playing out in the front yard and their ball rolled into the yard. She was good Summer, she asked your mom if she could go out and get it, then looked both ways, but there was a stupid guy who came flying around that road..."

"Oh God..."

"Now," Julius pats Summer's hand, "she was out for awhile. Everyone was concerned, but it's not a big deal anymore. She's awake."

"Jules, what's wrong with Brynn?" Summer demands.

"She has a concussion," Julius states, "she dislocated her left shoulder and broke her right wrist, she fractured a couple of ribs and lost a lot of blood."

"Oh, my poor baby," Summer mutters.

"She's going to be okay, Summer," Julius assures, "they want to keep her overnight just for observations."

Summer rubs her temples, "so she's going to be alright?"

Julius nods, "she's going to be alright, but she's anxious to see you." After a pause in the conversation Julius questions, "who's your friend?"

"This," Summer half turns in her seat, "is Seth Cohen."

"Oh really," Seth can almost hear the spite in Julius' voice.

"Yeah," Summer sighs, "really."

"Hmm," is Julius' only response for the rest of the ride to the hospital.

* * *

"Mom," Summer rushes up to a woman Seth would never guess was related to her. Summer's mother is tall, standing a head taller than Summer, with bright blue eyes and soft red curls.

"Summer," Summer's mother wraps her arms around Summer. "I'm sorry I scared you, there was just so much going on."

"It's okay, how is she?" Summer assures before quickly asking.

"She's kind of scared, but she mostly wants to see you. The doctor gave her pain medication that should be making her sleep but she's been fighting it so she can see you."

Summer nods, "where is she?" Summer's mother points to a room and Summer nods and turning to Seth she asks, "maybe it would be best if you didn't come with me right now."

"Fine," Seth shrugs, "whatever."

"Mommy," Brynn greets mid-yawn when Summer walks into the room.

"Hi baby," Summer gently sits on the edge of Brynn's bed, kissing her forehead. Brushing her daughter's hair out of her face she asks, "so you've had a big day huh?"

"Mm-hmm," Brynn yawns again. "Grandpa Devin called and he's bringing me a present from Spain because I was so good."

"Is he?" Summer asks.

"Mm-hmm, how much longer to I have to stay here?"

"Not much," Summer promises, "just until the doctor says you're a little better."

"I'm sorry," a nurse enters the room, "it's well past visiting hours, you have to leave now."

Summer nods, "I'll be back first thing in the morning, okay baby?"

"Mm-hmm," Brynn is half asleep by now.

The next chapter's going to reveal what exactly Seth feels about Summer keeping this secret from him for 5 years.


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I know it seemed weird that Summer didn't stay in the hospital with Brynn...but I had to make her leave so that I could do this first scene in this chapter...

* * *

Summer yawns even before she opens her eyes the next morning, she'd had a hard time sleeping her thoughts kept turning morbid as she thought about the possibility that something could go terribly wrong with Brynn and eventually she ended up snooping through her mother's medicine cabinet for sleeping pills around midnight. Opening her eyes Summer nearly jumps out of her skin, "good God, Seth, what the hell are you doing in here?"

An exhausted looking Seth is sitting in the chair by Summer's bed, "I came in here at three, trying to see if I could figure out why you never told me about her."

"By watching me sleep?" Summer asks immediately getting defensive.

"I still don't understand it," Seth states. "Why you didn't tell me about her?"

"I..." Summer sighs, she doesn't have a good excuse, she doesn't even have a flimsy excuse, she has no excuse.

"You left the day I got back, you couldn't stand to wait one more day before disappearing off the face of the planet?" Seth demands.

"I couldn't," Summer shakes her head, the fear she had felt then was no different from the fear she felt now. "I was scared."

"You were scared, of what?" Seth asks, Summer can tell he's still angry. "That I was going to turn my back on you?"

"No."

"That I would deny that she was mine?"

"No."

"That I would leave you?"

"No." Summer shakes her head for the third time.

"Then what were you afraid of?" Seth demands in frustration.

Summer takes a deep breath, "I was afraid you'd do the opposite, that the instant you found out I was pregnant you'd drop on one knee and the next thing I knew I was going to be married and with a baby at 17. The thought of that scared the hell out of me. I didn't want to be married and I didn't even want to be a mother."

"What?"

"I was going to give Brynn up for adoption, I had no intention on ever keeping her. But when she was born I couldn't..." Summer shakes her head.

"So what's your excuse for the last five years?" Seth questions.

Summer shrugs, "we were fine."

"You were fine?" Seth scoffs. "You've made me an absentee father because _you_ were fine. Did you even stop to think that maybe I would have wanted to know my daughter?"

"Of course I did," Summer snaps back, "but I didn't want to confuse her."

"Confuse her? Oh sure a father is a difficult concept to grasp."

"Seth..."

"So what? If we had never run into you I probably would never have known about her?"

"Seth..."

"No," Seth cuts her off again, "would you have ever told me about her if I hadn't shown up in New York."

Summer bites her lip, "no, I never planned on telling you about her."

"Dammit Summer," Seth stands up suddenly and stalks out of the room.

Summer flops back onto her pillows and pulls her covers over her head, and burying her head in her pillow Summer lets out of a frustrated scream. With that done she pushes the covers off of her and heads to the bathroom attached to the bedroom that had been hers when she was living in Pennsylvania. Quickly she showers and pulls on a pair of jeans and a tank, letting her hair remain wet and un-styled.

"You're up early, it's only six-thirty, I figured you'd sleep in a little," Cherie Johnson, Summer's mother, is sitting in the kitchen with a glass of orange juice and the newspaper, "I heard you in the bathroom at midnight."

"Sorry, did I wake you?" Summer asks pouring herself coffee.

"That stuff'll kill you," Cherie comments of the coffee. "And no, I was awake, I had some work I had to get done."

Summer nods, "I'm going to eat and then head over to the hospital, see if they'll let me bring Brynn home tonight."

Cherie nods, "I have to pick Devin up from the airport, he left this meeting early. So, Seth huh?"

Summer rubs the back of her neck and drops into a kitchen chair, "yeah. I'm as surprised as you."

"Jules informed me that he had to try to resist decking the guy," Cherie states.

Summer bites her lip, "he just showed up in New York and in my apartment building."

Cherie cringes, "is there anything I can do to help?"

"Could to make him stop hating me?" Summer asks breathing in the scent of the coffee.

"I can't do that, but I can Jules and Tony from beating him to a bloody pulp."

Summer smiles, "I'd appreciate it."

"Leighanna's coming down."

"She shouldn't do that," Summer insists, "she's got a wedding to plan."

"I told her that," Cherie responds, "but she said she'd take advantage of seeing you and Brynn at the same time. Especially since she won't see you guys until the week before the wedding."

"So," Seth enters the room, "are we going to the hospital or what?"

"Let me make some breakfast first," Cherie stands up, "Brynn's not going to be up yet anyway."

* * *

"There's pictures all over your house," Seth's small talk is breaking the beyond uncomfortable silence in the car on the way to the hospital. "There's lots of kids, I had no idea you had brothers and sister."

"The older ones are Derek's kids from his first marriage, Leighanna's a year older than me, Anthony's 20 and Julius, who you met last night is 18. And you'll meet the younger ones later, Kyla and Bryant are 12 and only ever go by Ky and Bry and then there's Denna who's 10."

"Wow," Seth comments.

Yeah," Summer nods and the silence resumes until they are on the children's ward floor.

"Mom!" Brynn exclaims from her bed where she's watching cartoons.

"Hey sweetie," Summer gently hugs Brynn and kisses her. "How do you feel?"

Brynn shrugs, "they're giving me lots and lots of medicine!"

"It'll help you to feel better," Summer promises.

Brynn nods, "that's what the nurse said. Who's that?" Brynn points at Seth who is lurking in the doorway.

Taking a deep breath Summer asks, "Brynn, sweetie, remember how whenever you've asked me about your father, do you remember what I told you?"

"Umm," Brynn thinks for a second , "that you guys weren't together, but that didn't mean that my Daddy doesn't love me."

Summer nods, "that's right. Well, this is your Daddy, Seth Cohen."

Brynn's dark eyes focus on Seth, "are you really my Daddy?"

Seth nods, "yeah, I guess I am."

"Did you come to see me cause I was hurt?" Brynn asks.

Seth nods again, "yeah, I did."

"Oh," Brynn smiles, "my mom says I look like you. Do I look like you?"

"Looks like it."

"Did you see my kitten?" Brynn inquires and when Seth nods she asks, "isn't OJ the cutest cat you ever saw?"

"Well I don't have a lot of experience with cats, but out of the ones I've seen she is the cutest."

"So are you going away again when I get out of the hospital?" Brynn asks her dark eyes unblinking.

At her daughter's words Summer's heart nearly breaks and she has to look away from both Seth and Brynn but Seth seems to take over naturally coming to stand on the other side of Brynn's bed he responds, "nope. I just moved into your apartment building, so you'll get to see me a lot. Me and your Uncle Ryan, Aunt Marissa and cousin Timothy."

"Where'd you used to live?" Brynn asks.

"In California."

"By the beach?"

Seth nods, "right by the beach."

"I've been to the beach, Uncle Jules took me on a sailboat once, it was fun!"

"You like sailboats?"

As the conversation begins Summer manages to slip out of the hospital room unnoticed and in search of Brynn's doctor whom she had spoken to before going home the night before. "Dr. Steele," Summer calls catching up to the middle-aged Asian woman.

"Ms. Roberts," Dr. Steele offers a warm smile, "I'm guessing you want to know when you can take your daughter home?"

Summer nods, "you said last night you just wanted for observations, that hasn't changed has it?"

"No," Dr. Steele shakes her head, "you can take her home as soon as you get the paper work filled out."

Summer nods in relief, "good."

In the coming chapter Ryan and Marissa find out about Brynn and Summer and Seth try to put their differences aside for the sake of their daughter, which is going to prove to be harder than they thought.


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Hey you," Summer is filling out Brynn's release work when the familiar voice comes from behind her.

"Leighanna," Summer grins at the tall curly headed brunette standing in front of her. Giving her a hug Summer asks, "how are you?"

"I'm great, got lots of wedding details to fill you in on, but how are you?" Leighanna's concern replaces her smile.

Summer takes a deep breath and admits, "I'm stressing."

"How's Brynn?"

"She's good," Summer states, "you know her, she'll bounce back from anything. I'm filling out her release forms now."

"Then what are you stressing about?" Leighanna questions.

Summer hugs her sister again, "I'm _so_ glad you're here."

"What's going on?" Leighanna asks insistently.

"Seth's here."

"_Seth_ Seth? As in Brynn's father Seth?" When Summer nods Leighanna lets out a long breath, "wow. Where is he? Is he here now? Does he know about Brynn? Why's he here?"

Once Summer has explained she's fighting tears, "and since I told him I've had to resist every urge I have to pick up and disappear again."

"You're not going anywhere," the voice behind Summer is cold and so un-Seth-like.

"Seth, I didn't..." Summer turns around quickly.

Seth's expression is set in stone, "if you so much as think about taking off with her you'll have a custody battle before you can cross the state line."

"Seth..."

"I'm going out to the car to get Brynn's clothes," Seth ignores Summer, "I need the keys."

Summer hands over the keys and once Seth is gone she slams her fist onto the armrest of the hospital chair, "dammit. This day just keeps getting worse."

Leighanna swings an arm around Summer's shoulders, "let's go see that beautiful daughter of yours."

Summer shakes her head, "I can't go see her like this. Why don't you go in, I'm going to go to the restroom and try to calm down."

Leighanna nods, "sure, I'll see you in a couple minutes?"

Summer nods, "I just need to calm down."

* * *

Seth lets out a deep sigh of frustration a part of him was elated, he, _he, _had a daughter who he just felt right being with. But the other part was so angry with Summer that he couldn't see or think straight and her comment just moments before hadn't helped at all. He'd tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, thinking that she was just some scared and pregnant teenager but she wasn't a teenager anymore and she prepared to take off again. He had to call his parents, Sandy would be able to tell him the law aspect of his rights, although he already knew most of them, and Kirsten would be able to offer the emotional support only Kirsten could ever offer. But before he called his parents he had to call Ryan, Ryan would be a quickly solution to calming down his anger.

"Hello?" A childish boy voice answer the phone.

"Timothy," Seth greets, "are your parents around?"

"Yeah," Timothy responds, "they're both here they are making me pancakes for breakfast!"

"Pancakes?" Seth asks, "again? Do you eat anything else."

"No." Timothy retorts, "so you wanna talk to them or what?"

"Yeah," Seth sighs. "Please."

"Hey, how's it going?" Ryan asks.

"Yeah, have you met Summer's daughter?" Marissa's voice chiming in leads to Seth's knowledge that they are using the speaker phone in their bedroom.

"Not good and yes." Seth sighs, dropping down on a bench outside of the hospital so that he can continue his cell phone conversation. "She's my daughter. Brynn Cohen."

There's a long pause on the other end and Seth can see Marissa's stunned expression and Ryan clears his throat, "wow."

"Exactly." Seth responds.

"Wow." Marissa echoes.

"Yeah." Seth sighs.

"But she's alright?" Ryan clarifies.

"She's a bit battered, but for the most part she's fine, they are releasing her from the hospital today. Now, I guess, that is if Summer doesn't take off with her again."

"Wow Seth, that's just...a lot...a lot to process right now. I don't know if I can take anything else right now...I'll uh...talk to you later." Marissa mumbles.

"So what do you mean if Summer doesn't take off again?" Ryan questions after a short pause.

"I overheard her talking to her step-sister about wanting to take her and disappear.

"You think she will?" Ryan asks.

"She can't just disappear I'm staying at her parents house and you guys are in her apartment building and it's not like they are going to leave her stuff. No, I don't think she'll take off, not today at least."

"You okay?"

"I dunno...yeah, I guess. Like Marissa said, it's just a lot to take in right now."

"You want me to take a train there?" Ryan asks.

"Nah," Seth responds, "I'm sure we'll be coming home soon enough and I think if we swarm Summer she really will take off."

"Alright man, listen if you need anything call...."

"Yeah, I will. You may want to go check on Marissa, I may have freaked her out a little bit."

"Yeah," Ryan agrees, "I'll talk to you later."

Seth flips his cell phone shut before walking back into the hospital with the bag containing Brynn's clothes tucked under his arm. "Seth," Summer's voice startles him as she rounds a corner and comes face to face with him.

"Summer," Seth nods his head in her direction and then continues walking.

"Seth," Summer grabs his arm, "we have to talk. About what you heard me say to Leighanna."

"You mean about disappearing with Brynn?" Seth knows perfectly well what she means but part of him wants to make this painful for Summer, so that she can understand just how much pain he was feeling right now.

"Yeah, that," Summer refuses to meet his eyes and for the first time in his entire life he can tell that Summer isn't confident about something. In the entire time he had known her, for the time he had worshiped her, he'd never known her not to be confident about every aspect of her life and this was new territory for him.

"What about it?" Seth snaps, more because he's surprised by this new attitude then upset.

"I wouldn't do that," Summer murmurs, "take her away from me. But," Summer swallows hard and meets Seth's gaze, "I won't let you take her away from me either."

And that was it, everything slid in place as Seth remembered what she had said when she had told him about Brynn in the first place, what was it she had said, 'everything about her is yours...except it's not, because she's mine, she's all I have in the entire world and I'm about to lose her.'

"Summer," Seth's tone softens.

Summer shakes her head as her patented Summer confidence comes back, "I told you what I needed to tell you. Now we're going to go in there for our daughter, act nice, take her home and we'll work something out later, alright?"

"Summer," it's Seth's turn to grab Summer's arm.

"I'm not going to have a custody battle with you in the middle of the hospital," Summer hisses under her breath. "No let's drop it, Brynn has been through more than enough."

Seth lets out a sigh but continues to follow Summer down the hospital hallway, their sneakers making squeaking noises on the smooth hallway floor is the only thing that dares interrupt the silence between them.

"Mommy!" Brynn exclaims cheerfully. "Can I go home yet? The nurse said I could go home as soon as you came in here and got me."

"You can come home now," Summer assures, her entire demeanor changing the instant she sets foot in the hospital room.

"Did my Seth Daddy bring me clothes?" Brynn asks focusing her attention on Seth.

Seth hold sup the pink bag, "got them for you right here."

"Will you help me change Mommy?" Brynn asks.

Summer nods, "of course baby."

Seth suddenly feels uncomfortable, unable to offer any help in the room he states, "I'll bring the car around."

Sorry this took so long to update, I just moved across the country...sigh that was exhausting and as if not to make it anymore tiring I have just taken on a full time job as a nanny for two families...when I'm not with one I am with the other...but I will update as often as possible! Thanks for sticking with me!


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

So you guys wanna know how dumb I am? Okay so granted it did take forever for me to update but I'm working like 30 hours a week or something and by the time I get to a computer my brain has shut down permanently. But anyway I did finish this chapter like over a week ago and I'm sitting here, expecting reviews but none are coming, which by the way makes me very sad...and then I'm trying to check something with this story and I notice well smartie me never actually got around to posting it...it's been sitting in the upload section...Anyway hope you enjoy this very late chapter!

Key:  
Regular story  
**_Dream  
_**Diary Entry

"She's asleep?" Summer slips into Brynn's room in her mother's house where Seth has settled himself on a chair by her bed.

Seth nods gently, not taking his eyes off of the sleeping girl, "she's...Summer...I don't even know how to describe it..."

"I know," Summer responds, "that's what it was like the day she was born."

Seth stiffens at this comment and cooly states, "we need to talk."

Summer nods, "yeah, maybe the back porch?"

"Fine." Seth stands and straightens before following Summer out of Brynn's room and then out of the house. When they are outside on the back porch Seth states, "I am calling my father when we get back to New York, to find out a way to keep you from taking her."

"Seth, I'm not taking her anywhere," Summer breathes out in frustration.

"I don't think I trust you not to," Seth retorts. "You did before."

"Are we having this fight again?" Summer exclaims, loudly. "I left, you left. We both left, neither of us has or will ever apologize for leaving with only a note so we are back at square one aren't we?"

"We would have been at square one five years ago if you hadn't decided to take the easy way out and run!" Seth exclaims.

"The easy way?" Summer snaps, her voice high and shrill, "you don't know _shit_ Cohen!"

"Excuse me," Devin clears his throat, "I hate to have to remind you, but there are little kids inside the house very curious to see what their sister is fighting about."

Summer blushes, "sorry Devin."

"It's alright, but maybe you guys could take a ride." Devin suggests.

"It's not necessary," Summer responds. "I know how to make Seth see everything in a new light. I'll be back." Quickly Summer slips back in the house.

"I'm sorry about this sir, Summer and I have never been able to control out emotions towards each other well." Seth apologizes.

Devin's light eyes focus on Seth, "I love that girl like my own daughter. I shouldn't have had to tell you not to hurt her, but you seem to be doing the exact opposite." Pointing an accusatory finger at Seth he whispers harshly, "don't hurt her. She's been through too much without you adding to her pain."

"Hey."

"Mom," Summer jumps at her mother's entrance.

"What are you doing?"

Summer is sitting on her bed with a box in her lap, "looking for my diary from when I was in high school here. I'm going to let Seth read it."

Cherie nods, as if she's been expecting this, "sounds like a good idea."

"I just want him to understand that I'm not the same person that he used to know, I've grown up, I've had to go through a lot to get where I am. And he just walks in and suddenly he's Brynn's father and it's just as simple as that, he talks to her about all the things that they have in common and he can be an amazing father, because I don't doubt that he can. But he'll never have to go through what I had to go through."

Cherie wraps an arm around her daughter, "I'm sure you can make him understand, you're a very convincing person."

"It was just easier when he didn't know, and I could just do this on my own," Summer sighs.

Cherie gently kisses Summer's temple, "the easy things aren't worth nearly as much as the hard things."

Summer sighs at her mother's comment, "got it." Carefully Summer lifts out a hard covered journal with the picture of the sun setting a beach, a gift from her mother when she first got to Pennsylvania.

Walking out of the room Cherie stops her daughter, "Summer?"

"Yeah, Mom?" Summer turns around quickly, hoping there's not to much maternal advice coming her way.

"He hurt you, I understand that, I really do, but he didn't do that intentionally...and he does feel badly about it...maybe take that into account when you try to make him understand."

"I'm done talking Mom," Summer shrugs, "if he het gets it from reading my diary then good, we'll be at an understand...if he doesn't," Summer shrugs again. "Then he doesn't get it. I'm not going to stop him from seeing Brynn, I wouldn't do that to her, or to him. I just want him to understand...for me. It's a little selfish I know but I want him to feel what I had to go through, I want him to know everyday that he gets the easy part in raising Brynn. I was the one who was there when she was teething and kept me up all night and I still had to get up for school the next day to take finals."

Cherie smiles sadly at her daughter, "those are all things you need to get across to him. I was there, I remember."

Summer gently kisses her mother's cheek, "I love you."

"I love you to baby," Cherie responds softly.

"I'm going to deliver this and then go to bed, okay. I'll see you in the morning."

When Summer walks onto the back porch again Seth is standing alone, "so you've decided, what, that we're not talking about this?"

Summer shakes her head, "I want you to read something." Silently Summer hands over the book and walks away, back inside leaving Seth alone to stare at the cover of the journal he'd just been handed.

****

"Summer, she's beautiful," Cherie Johnson coos to her daughter as she peeks at her first grandchild as the nurses clean and wrap her in a pink blanket.

"Mom, Mom," Summer desperatly tries to get her mother's attention as tears stream down her cheeks.

"What is it sweetie?" Cherie asks brushing her daughter's hair out of her face.

"I can't...I can't do this..." Summer shakes her head, her decision not to give her baby up for adoption, that she'd firmly made a month ago was starting to scare her. "I'm only 17...I can't be a mom..."

"You'll be a great mom," Cherie assures.

Summer shakes her head, "I can't do this."

"Just hold her," Cherie suggests.

"I can't..." Summer sobs. But without warning the nurse appears and gently settles the small baby in Summer's shaking arms.

April 2005...The instant they put her in my arms I started crying more, because Mom and the nurses were right she is beautiful. She's small, she's got a low birth weight, but the doctor told me that I shouldn't be to worried because it's typical for young women to give birth to low birth weight babies. Every time I look at her I can't help but see her father in her, her hairs so soft and curly. I didn't understand it before, about how much you love somebody from the instant you see them but she's beautiful and she's perfect, Brynn Amelia Cohen. I don't know where the name came from but it fits her, but I can't help but wish Seth could see her and love her like I do. And I know he would love her, he totally lost it when he found out that Ryan could be having a baby and left...I don't want to put him through more than I have to. We had a semi-clean break, I'm sure he's completely forgotten about me since I left Newport, I'm probably just some girl he used to date. I dunno I figure he's been through enough, part of which I've put him through, I don't need to put him through more just as he's forgetting about me. I dunno, I have to turn my brain off though and try to get some sleep, I just don't know if I can comprehend just how much my life has changed...

June 2005

Brynn cried until 5:30 this morning all I wanted to do after my hour of sleep was curl up and sleep more but that wasn't even an option, finals started today and I probably failed all of them... I spent all of lunch in the bathroom sobbing, I love Brynn but I'm starting to think it's going to be impossible to raise her and go to school...I don't know I'm just stressed, I think, I hope...I only have three classes tomorrow and then schools out for the summer, I hope I can get some perspective by then. I want to be a good mother to her but I just don't know if I'm ready to be a mother...


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I was so lost as to where I was going with this story...but I forced myself to sit down and write some so I could get a new chapter out in a decent amount of time and then all of a sudden the chapter was flowing and then bam it's over...So anyway thanks to everyone so so so much for sticking with my through everything, including my move across the country...I've got ideas floating in my head for a prequel and a sequel to this story so if anyone's interested in either/or let me know and emailing ideas would help me get a new story out fast! Thanks a ton! And stay tuned at the end of the story/chapter to see what I would have in mind for the pre/sequel.

* * *

Seth yawns closing the journal that he had spent the last couple hours reading, Summer's pain and trials and joys of being a mother were written across every page. But another thing that completely stood out on the pages was Summer's mental battle over whether or not to tell Seth, and the guilt she felt for keeping Brynn from him. Setting the book on the bedside table of the guest room Seth had been sleeping in he slides his legs over the edge of the bed and stretches, he wouldn't be able to sleep now, he had to much to think about.

Walking into the living room Seth's gaze immediately falls on the low bookshelf that has several books that look like photo albums, and curiously Seth pulls a couple of them off the shelf and settles onto the couch with them. The cover of the first one is inscribed with _For Two Very Special Grandparents_ and opening the first page Seth is faced with a picture of an exhausted and tearful Summer who has Brynn cradled to her closely. The follow pages are all pictures of everyone in the family's first time holding Brynn, the little girl who from pictures of himself as a newborn looks just like her father.

Flipping through those pictures Seth finally settles on a collage of professional pictures with the top heading of _One Month Old_ and all the pictures show a smiling, slightly chubby, curly haired baby in bright spring colors. After that there are pictures at three month intervals some professional and some just candids that captures what Seth had to imagine Brynn must have been like as a baby.

"You're up late," Cherie remarks walking into the living room.

"I was reading and I couldn't sleep, I hope the light didn't wake you."

Cherie shakes her head, "I couldn't sleep either. I thought I'd make myself some tea, would you like some."

Seth thinks for a moment and then nods, "tea would be great, thank you."

Once they are both settles around the table Cherie states, "so Summer told me that you have an adoptive brother."

Seth nods, "the adoptive thing rarely comes up anymore."

Cherie laughs, "she says he was raised in Chino. I bet that through those Newport snobs for a loop."

Seth laughs as well, "yeah, but not as much as when he came back from Chino with a son."

Cherie nods, "that's right, his son. He's about Brynn's age isn't he?"

"A couple months older." Seth sighs and then confesses, "I was going to forgive Summer."

Cherie sets her tea cup back in it's saucer, "but?"

"I read the diary she had me read, and after getting that insight into what her life was like I was ready to forgive her." He sighs again, "but then I was looking at your photo album of Brynn and I realized _exactly_ what I had missed in her life. And now I'm not so sure anymore."

"I know exactly how you feel."

Seth looks surprised, "you do?"

Cherie nods, "of course. I resented Neil so much for keeping Summer away from me for most of her life and I still resented him, even when he let her move in with my while she was pregnant."

"Do you still resent him?" Seth questions.

Cherie shakes her head, "no. That selfish feeling nearly cost me my daughter, because when it came down to it Summer's father had raised her, even if I didn't have a choice in the matter, and she loved him for it. And no matter how thankful she was to me for letting me live with her while she was pregnant Neil was still her Daddy, who had been there to teach her to ride a bike and to kiss her cuts and be there for her first days of school and all those memorable times in a child's life that I had missed."

"So you're saying I should forgive Summer for Brynn's sake?" Seth questions.

Cherie shakes her head, "no. Not just for Brynn's sake, for your sake too because I know my granddaughter and Summer is her entire world and has been in it her entire life. You just walked in one day and told her that you're her Daddy and you've only been that figure to her for a couple milliseconds of her life. If she sees you not getting along with her mother then I can promise you that she's not going to get along with you either."

"I still don't know if I can just forget that I've missed five years of my daughters life...just like you said Summer got to be there to kiss her boo-boos and take her to her first day of school and take her to her first movie."

Cherie nods, "you did miss all of that. And a million other things." If it's at all possible Seth's expression falls even more. "But there are so many things that she's never done, like Brynn has never picked up a comic book, Summer won't let her which I think has something to do with you, and she's never been to California and she's never met your parents. Or on her first date, her first kiss, her first heartache...all these milestones a girl should have an overprotective father for.

"And if you can't make peace with missing the first five years of her life you're never going to be able to forgive _yourself_ for not jumping at the chance to get to know you're daughter. Because, unless your lucky like I was, when she's older she'll want nothing to do with you, Devin's kids don't have anything to do with their mother. You don't want to take that chance, do you?"

Seth sighs deeply, "no, I don't."

Cherie pats Seth's arm, "you're a good guy Seth, you just needed some perspective. I'm going to bed, I'll see you in the morning."

Once Cherie has left Seth pulls out his cell phone, the phone on the other end rings four times before a very groggy sounding Marissa answers, "Seth is everything okay?"

"Yeah."

Marissa groans, "then Seth you do know it's 2:30 in the morning right?"

"Yeah...well I didn't know the exactly time...Listen can I talk to Ryan?"

"Yeah," Marissa sighs and hands the phone over.

"What do you need Seth?" Ryan asks.

"I need to talk to you," Seth responds.

"Yeah, kinda got that." Ryan remarks. "Hang on." There's some shuffling and phone switching and a door opening and shutting before Ryan states, "okay, what's going on?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yes, what?" Ryan snaps, it's obvious that he's upset about being drug out of bed.

"If you could make things right with your dad or your mom again, would you? Like I mean for not being you let the past be the past?"

"Seth," Ryan's tone softens. "She's only five-years-old."

"I know, I know." Seth states, "call me paranoid but I'm afraid I'll mess up things with Summer when we talk next and that'll mess things up with me and Brynn..so could you answer the question?"

"So what you're asking is if my dad got out of jail today, a free man having proven that he was innocent, could I forgive him for not being in my life?"

Ryan always seemed to shock Seth by being able to figure out the exact conditions of the question he was asking, "yeah."

"No." Ryan responds simply. "A father is someone who is in their child's life no matter what the circumstances are. He doesn't have to be married to the kids mother but he needs to be there to be a good example, that's what I've tried to be for Timothy and that's what you need to be for Brynn."

"So basically what you're saying is don't screw up with Summer tomorrow?" Seth asks.

"Yeah," Ryan audibly yawns on the other end.

"Alright, thanks man, get some sleep." As Seth flips his phone closed he turns around the face Summer, "eavesdropping is rude."

Summer shrugs, "you were talking about me. Besides, it's no eavesdropping if you know the person is standing there." Sitting at the table Summer comments, "so Mom made you tea."

Seth nods, "she's a nice woman."

Summer agrees, "yeah, she's pretty great. Seth I am sorry I kept her from you..."

Seth nods, "I know you are."

"I wish that could be enough, but I know it isn't..." Summer lets out a long breath, "but I have no way to make it up to you."

"Yeah you do," Seth states, "just let me spend time with her and get to know her."

Summer shakes her head, "you can't take her away from me Seth."

"Wasn't planning on it," Seth responds. "I just want to be in her life..."

Summer nods, "of course you can be in her life, I'm not going to stop you from it."

* * *

"Are you ready to go home?" Seth asks Brynn, as they, Summer and OJ all sit on the private plane Summer and Seth had flown into Pennsylvania.

Brynn shakes her head, "no I like staying at Grandma and Grandpas."

"I bet you do," Seth agrees, "their house is a lot of fun. So your Mom and I were talking about another vacation for you this summer."

"Really to Grandma and Grandpas?" Brynn asks excitement written across her face.

"No to Grandma Cherie and Grandpa Devin's." Summer explains, "we thought maybe you dad could take you to California to meet your other grandparents, his Mom and Dad."

Brynn turns to stare at Seth in the eyes, "so you're my Dad...for keeps?"

Seth takes Brynn's hand and gently kisses it, "I'm yours, for the rest of your life."

Okay well thanks again for sticking with me...so I was thinking for a prequel it would basically be what Summer's life was when she was pregnant with Brynn and/or after Brynn was born. And the sequel would be everday life (because I must say I agree with Rebecca Franco's review) and/or their trip to California to meet Sandy and Kirsten.


End file.
